hello world!
my site's up! it's live! it's real! it's here! this dinky little corner of the internet is officially mine! it was technically mine when i bought the stupid domain last month but now it's really mine!
shoutouts to my dad, he helped me get everything set up and is graciously hosting it as well. i was curious about self-hosting, since i have this silly little mini-itx pc next to my desk, but then i started reading about security and upkeep and both my eyes and brain glazed over and then i decided to say fuck it and have someone else do it. it's funny, i'd say i'm pretty fluent when it comes to computers and how to operate them. web hosting is an entirely different animal and not one i'm sure i have the willpower to learn. i need everything explained to me like i'm five. i just learned what DNS stands for like two weeks ago.
anyway time for my monthly yap session
bangle.js 2
is a smartwatch. and one i am very excited for! i've been curious about having a smartwatch for months now, but i have no interest in any of the flagship models. not only are they expensive, but there's often so much proprietary bloat and tracking when big brands make their own thing, i'd rather just not deal with any of it.
the bangle.js 2 is a very simple, open-source, hackable smartwatch, with apps programmed entirely in Javascript. you're 100% in charge of what goes on your watch and how you use it. plus it has an insane battery life, living for 4 weeks on standby, and, at ~$100, is a great price for something like this that's also an entry into smartwatches. it'll also be good for me to finally get into learning Javascript, which is something i've always felt i should know as a graphic designer. even if i just mess with it and make a simple little program, i think getting myself familiar with the language and able to navigate some basic code would be invaluable. everything else i can just google later. :o)
i've been thinking about this watch for weeks and weeks, until yesterday when i finally pulled the trigger. it's only $100, but i've been watching my financials and wanted to make sure i'd be okay (or at least not feel guilty) before i bought it. it's also nice to give yourself a gift like this on occasion. i've been doing well with my spending and saving. i've earned it, i think.
if you're curious, check it out here!
mother's day
it's been a good day. i went to the garden center with my mom this morning, treated her to coffee, then we came home for her to tend to her garden while i worked on some design stuff. we both took naps afterwards, then spent dinner time eating garbage (Taco Bell) and playing Left 4 Dead. we also demolished an entire banana cream pie, which sounds bad, but it was one of those boxed pies you find in the freezer section of your grocery store, and it wasn't heavy at all. honestly a single person could tank one if they were hungry enough.
coming out of burnout
this is the main reason i wanted to yap today. over the past 6 months, i've noticed my mental state has felt a lot more.. open? less tied down? and especially as of late, i've felt more tapped into my creative side than i have been in a while. and i think i know why.
this is gonna be a tangent, i'm just gonna go for it.
i worked the same full-time, 11am-8pm shift at a retail store for nearly 4 years. this is very much one of those stores where your experience can depend heavily on your coworkers, management, etc. my store was fucking miserable. people were constantly in and out, some of those people in the entirely wrong positions, and walking into it, you could more or less feel like everybody wanted to fucking kill themselves. maybe an exaggeration, maybe not. but i loved what i did (and still do). i have never had a particularly sour customer interaction, and a lot of my clients were super nice. i think my working hours, in combination with management and how the store was run, made it feel like shit. and it's one of those situations where you don't realize how bad it is, until you reach a boiling point, and start wanting out.
it took me a year from reaching that point, to actually getting out. and it felt great! i fell into a new role in the industry i'm in, had normal 8am-5pm hours, management was.. better. i loved every single one of my coworkers. the work was slow, but i didn't mind. i was learning more about my job and how my company works.
unfortunately, that job abruptly came to an end after not even 4 months. i fell into a state of fight-or-flight. i was petrified, i didn't wanna go through the job hunt process again, but i knew that if i could get out of it once, i could do it again.
what ended up happening is i picked up a position at the same retail chain i was at before, but in a new location. after a few weeks, i already felt so much better mentally. the store feels lively, the people are nice, and from what i've seen and heard, management not only supports their coworkers, but aren't constantly moving around or coming and going. the best part is, not only am i still doing what i love at the same pay, but i work part-time and mostly mornings into afternoons. i feel like i actually have time for myself, and i think that's what's been a major missing part of my life for 4 years now. not gonna lie, i love what i got going for me now. sure, i'll eventually have to pick up full-time work, i'm still poking my head in here and there with job applications, but my financials are still good, so i'm enjoying it while it lasts.
i'm still slowly coming out of that fight-or-flight mode. i still have "trauma" from losing my previous job so suddenly and without warning, and with the state of the job market, i don't really trust so easily. i've actually been in talks with someone from a similar company for a full-time position, i gave him a rundown of what happened and explicitly stated that i'll need at least a few months before even starting to feel comfortable. he understood completely, and actually assured me that new employees are under training for at least six months. he's been such a pleasure to talk to. i'm still wary, but i feel like this would be a good position for me.
on top of ALL of this, along with my monthly student loan payments, i've had to maintain storage unit payments too, containing a bunch of stuff from when i lived in Florida. the monthly storage unit payment increased to nearly $300, and i can't afford to have that on top of my loan payments every month. i've made plans with some family members, and soon, i'll be cleaning out my unit, throwing away what i no longer need, and moving a few bins into my grandmother's house, meaning that unit payment will be eliminated very soon!! and since i'll be saving so much money without those payments, for the first time in my life, i'm considering taking up a membership at Planet Fitness. the yearly cost for a black card membership at Planet Fitness is nearly a SEVENTH of what i've been paying yearly for that storage unit, and the prospect of taking up a new healthy ritual is exciting! i've gained some stress weight this past year, but i'm looking forward to shaving it off, and overall getting into a better physical state. i wanna slim down and tone up.. not that it would be too noticeable anyway considering i've always been on the fluffier side, but we'll see!
if you read this entire post, thank u! i kiss u! mwah!
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